Tikhtak

Cockney Cash Machines on the tidy n Neat!

Would you "Adam and Eve" it but finally the "Rabbit" they do on the "Tidy and neat" in the East End is  being given a literary status. A number of cash machines, according to a Timesonlione article(Thanks to Katherine Elizabeth for picking this up in the States), are dishing out "Moolah" with on-screen instructions in Cockney. “Readin’ your bladder of lard”, read the message on the screen. It asked for his “Huckleberry Finn”. Then more bewildering questions: did he want to see his balance on the Charlie Sheen? Did he wish to change his Huckleberry Finn or did he simply require sausage and mash, with or without a receipt?

Apparently 'Bank Machine', which runs 2,500 ATMs across the country, are thinking of extending this to cover Geordies, Brummies, Scouse and Scots. One comment was made that, The Yorkshire version is similar, but doesn't have an option to withdraw cash. I think they should do this on our local new channels too. So when Hugh Johns hands us over to our regional news  Riz Latif comes on saying "Alright me ol China's, did ya "Steak and Kidney pies" get a Butchers  hook" at this today?

Apart from feeling the freedom of having finished my MA, I have been moved to blog about this because I use to use Cockney rhyming slang to teach English. I would get Japanese students to learn some Cockney  slang phrases and then give them a piece of "written English" to translate into Cockney. They would then attempt to read it out authentically and we would even act out little scenes of using cockney speak... Just think that if ever those students come across those machines today, those lessons some 10 years ago would have been worth it!

Up the bus lane!

I have just got a ticket for driving in a bus lane on a Sunday! A few years ago I had the opportunity to do an AA advanced driving test and was advised by the instructor that I should always use the bus lane when the restrictions didn't apply. (as the other lane becomes an overtaking lane). The trouble is there are a thousand different variants for every stretch of bus lane in London and if you happen to miss the one tiny blue sign that states the restrictions in the smallest writing possible then you are scuppered. I missed the blue sign that actually had no written instruction on it which means apparently it is "car prohibited" at all times. Why can't London councils make the whole thing a lot easier by having one rule for all? The cynical side of me says that that wouldn't make as much money for them off drivers like me who are trying to obey the law. I am bitter and twisted! Check out this ticket fighter website that helps other law abiding drivers to challenge the many mistakes London council's make.

The wonder of Wellworths

Claire Robertson, Mother of two and former Woolworth's employee has reopened the Dorchester store, reemploying all her 20 former Woolies staff to mass hysteria. The store Wellworths is almost identical to Woolies with pick n mix sweets but has axed CD's, DVD's and children's clothing in favour of a gardening and pets section. It seems that Claire has real entrepreneurial blood and sensing the public grief to the loss of woolies she has met a real need. She has also learnt some lessons from the past and has axed those things which may actually had a sell by date (CD's and DVD's). She is also keen to give the store more of a local and personal feel, which is no small thing for a so called high street chain, but I guess that is the wonder of Wellies! Other Woolies stores have also approached her about re opening and Wellworths could well become the blue print for other vacant stores across Britain.

I am sure there are a lot of needs in British life which the church once met but now has retreated from. I wonder if there might be spiritual/social entrepreneurs out their willing to act in the same way as Claire Robertson. ( Check out Mark Berry's safe space Sanktuary) I guess the high street is a good place to start!

Washed out in Yorkshire

This morning I set off on a GNER train bound for Doncaster not knowing what was to hit me. We were to have a youth and children's team meeting at my colleague Mike's house in Donny. I got as far as Grantham before we hit our first flood in a tunnel and the train was canceled. Some American tourists kept all our spirits up by reminding us that Margaret Thatcher was from Granthem... And I shared a carriage standing with Phil Tufnell, but alas not even his celebrity status could help!  Finally I met my other team mate Anita in Donny some 4 hours later and we set off to Mike North's house in Adwick. It was simply flooded everywhere and we couldn't get to him. At one point we were sent on a back route by the diversion and the road was in danger of becoming a river (see pic). Just 10 minutes from his house and we had to give up and back I got on to a packed GNER train, which took me back to Grantham and eventually to London. What a day!

Bombers fail and life goes on

I was actually at Liverpool street when yesterdays incidents happened but didn't hear all the details till I got into a taxi at St Margrets station to go to All Nations Bible College. I immediately telephoned Irfana so she knew of my whereabouts as last time this caused a bit of stress as the phone lines were not working. I then focused on the day and had an inspiring meeting with Jill Ford, the course leader for the Arts and intercultural studies certificate. She has a vision for using the Arts to explore culture and it's value in mission and communicating the Gospel. It was strange to get on with life while at the same time not knowing what was actually going on in London. I am hoping that we at CMS can take this meeting forward in some way and hope to take part in some workshops Jill will be running in the Autumn. I then made my way back home. I had a long treck across London by bus with everyone talking about what had gone on. Things were brought home even more when I realised one of the failed bombs was on a tube at the Oval, which I pass through everyday to work and is not far from us in Clapham. I could well have travelled on it around that time to Liverpool street if I hadn't have decided to take a bus instead. I then saw my freind Pete from church interviewed on the news. He had been in the carriage when the rucksack exploded. It highlights how these incidents have a knock on affect which touches us all. I took this picture this morning on the way to work by car as I passed the Oval station. It seems things are still unfolding. For the latest check out the bbc website

Theological response to London bombings

Ekklesia's Simon Barrow has written a paper for a theological response to the London bombings. His article is on the CMS website and is challenges religious groups to examine their own teachings and face up to the "difficult bits" where violence is promoted. He also challenges our terminology when talking about waging a "war on terror", which speaks more of revenge than Christian Love. The challenge we all face is knowing what label belongs to who. Muslims think it's Christian's bombing Iraq, While Christians in the west see it as a secular response party due to countries turning their back on God. The US probably share both these view points! so how on earth can we really know what to think about anybody? Perhaps it's like Solomon's wisdom in descerning between the two women who claimed they both were the mother of a baby. He deemed the baby should be sawn in two and given to both women. Of course the mother couldn't accept this and so conceeded to let the other women have the baby. By this Solomon could see the Mothers love for her child and gave the baby to it's rightful Mum. So in the face of anger, fear and persecution, who of us, no matter which side of the fence we stand can forgive and so show our genetic similarity to God.

London stood still

On Thursday we remembered the tragic events of the week before. It was a powerful time as everyone took to the streets to hold a 2 minute silence. Opposite us the London Ambulance staff held their own time of rememberence and as the 2 minutes came to an end someone shouted "Two cheers for London  Ambulance". The whole street joined in with a hearty British hip hip horaay. It really was a great moment to be part of such a mood of unity.